Gain Or Lose

That is my question...not really sure there is a right answer. Well, I guess it depends on who you talk to. It seems that I have an answer that most people would not like. In fact, I did get "some" feedback the other day, I was 50/50 happy. I have been very pleased with the amount of weight I have lost in the past year. Why wouldn't I be?? I am wearing a size that I have not worn since high school ! At first, I wasn't trying to lose weight, then, I started watching...hmmm. if I only eat soup- lets see what happens....that kind of thing. I feel great, blood sugar looks good, people have told me I look good.. really has built up confidence.. seemed to bring on "men" problems though(thats another story, another time),anyway I was thinking.... this is great. Maybe I should step out a bit and try to do something else..hmm. Lets try to quit smoking. Wouldn't that be great?? Look good, feel good, no smoking, life would be good... Wrong---not going to happen. In the past week since I decided to "try", I have gained 5#. I will be miserable if I gain it back. So my question to myself---Do I gain weight? Or Do I lose the cigarettes? There may never be a time when I can quit smoking. So many think that is a cop out. Maybe it is. But it is My failure. I choose that right now because I am happier losing weight. For some reason, God has looked down on me and smiled all these years. Many ask why?? I am certainly the first to ask . By the grace of God, I am still here. I am very thankful. He and I have "talked" about this predicament of mine...we're comfy with it. The men in my life right now may be helping me make wrong decisions or I am just a push over.What ever it is, I am happy with my decision to keep losing weight ,get rid of those bbq chips and lollipops, buy a pack of cigarettes,a can of soup and let the weight go.